Resources for Couples: Attachment and Self-Help

Listed below is a collection of books, podcasts, and other resources that I often recommend to couples who are struggling with intimacy, connection, or just a whole bunch of stress.

While these resources are no substitute for therapy, they can often be extremely helpful when used in conjunction with a therapist you trust!

Image by Joel Vodell

Marriage & Long-term Relationships:

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Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson. 

Hold Me Tight  is a book based in attachment science and relationship counseling aimed at increasing intimacy and repairing ruptures in a relationship.

Marriage & Long-term Relationships:

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Seven Principles is a book based in the research of John Gottman, who has spent years analyzing and identifying the factors that lead to divorce. 

Dating & Relationships:

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Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller.

Attached is a book based in attachment science aimed at helping partners identify their own attachment styles and how that pattern of relating interacts with potential romantic partners. Great for individuals currently dating or individuals currently partnered!

Dating & Relationships:

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Eight Dates by Johns Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

Eight Dates is a book based in the research of John and Julie Gottman, who have spent years researching what makes or breaks romantic relationships. Eight Dates offers a blueprint/roadmap to increased intimacy and deeper connection.

Sexual Intimacy:

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Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Mating in Captivity is a book aimed at exploring the union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to "bring lust home". Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire through case studies and lively discussion and aims to help partners have more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex in long-term relationships

Podcast: 

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Where Should We Begin, Podcast by Esther Perel

Esther Perel counsels real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door. This podcast does not constitute therapeutic advice, but may normalize client experiences.